Welcome to aplaceofhisown.com! My name is Suzanne Weinstein and I am the mother of an adult with Down syndrome who lives independently in his own apartment. Helping him succeed in his apartment has been a long, steep, and entirely worthwhile, climb. I’m writing this blog to share what we’ve learned along the way. I plan to recount the process of securing his apartment and overcoming the challenges we have faced, and mostly overcome, so that he can be successful living independently.
My son watched his older siblings move away from home to live on their own. He wanted to have a place of his own, too. But navigating life after school through adulthood to actually live independently felt chartless and daunting. My goal is to help others who have children who also dream of living independently.
About me
When my son, I’ll call him Dave, was born, I was a stay-at-home mom. I had very little knowledge about Down syndrome, other than what I learned as a biology major in college. I understood the chromosomal anomaly (trisomy 21) and the nondisjunction that causes it, but not much more than that.
In those early days I did a lot of staring at the wall in a daze. I had no idea what to expect of the future for my son or for me. Of course, I feared that he would never do what most children do. I remember talking with a counselor who came to visit me after an amniocentesis had confirmed his diagnosis. My then 2-yr old son was singing the ABCs. In tears I asked her if my yet unborn child would ever do that. She responded with a comforting “yes.”
Among the fears I had was a selfish one – I worried that my dreams of going to graduate school and having a fulfilling career would never come true.
I turned out to be wrong in so many ways. Dave can read and write, and loves to “google” information about spiders or sharks. As for my own goals, when Dave was 6 years old, I entered graduate school and eventually earned a Ph.D. in psychology.
In addition to my passion for psychology, I chose to attend graduate school partly because I knew several college instructors who had flexible schedules, and I wanted that. The flexibility I had as a university employee turned out to be an important part of supporting Dave in his apartment. My office was 5 minutes from his apartment, so I could get over there easily to take care of his many needs, from interviewing Habilitation Aides, who would visit him daily, to helping him fix his internet issues.
Now that I’m retired I’m further away from him than my office was, but I don’t need to go over there as often as I used to because he’s grown so much. Among other things, he can now fix his own internet problems.
About Dave
Dave loves to create things. Sometimes his creations come from his head, but many times they come from Youtube videos. He has learned to make duct tape wallets, recreate the wardrobe and hockey masks from each Friday the 13th movie, and make headstones. He’s meticulous, skilled and a perfectionist. And obsessive. Our conversations (currently) are mostly about the masks he is making or whatever his current obsession is. He loves horror movies (obviously). He loves to dance. He loves his nephew. He works 20 hours per week, plays basketball, and performs in a musical group. He is a busy guy! He describes living on his own as his “dream come true.”
About Navigating this Site
You will find my posts by clicking on the menu item that says “blog posts.” That will open a drop-down menu with the categories I have assigned the posts to. For example, if you want to know the process we navigated to get Dave set up in his apartment, click on “Journey to A Place of His Own.” If you are interested in learning about the challenges we have had to overcome to help maintain Dave in his apartment, click on “Overcoming Challenges.” “Public Financial Support” discusses the benefits that support Dave’s ability to live independently. Finally, in “Free Time Activities” you’ll find stories about all the things Dave loves to do when he isn’t at work.